Thursday, March 26, 2015

Say yes to life

You can have what you want,  if you brave and face what you fear and do what you can to face your fear..  

Being brave is not easy, but doing what you can for yourself is easy. I was travelling and met a young woman that I had worked with a few years ago and I asked her how she was doing. Her reply made me think.

She had just returned from a safari with her daughter--a trip of a lifetime and she was full of life and excited about the trip and she told me some of her adventures. After a few minutes she also said that she had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and had two operations before she went on her trip. She talked about her battles to get her Dr. to take her seriously and how once she won that battle how fast she had been treated. 

She was worried about her husband who she said did not know how to deal with her situation, he like most men wanted to fix the problem, but could not and so he had retreated into work. 

She said he was angry at he system for taking so long to diagnose her and she was a bit disappointed with the Cancer Agency because once she was given the news, she was left on her own, no counselling, no support until she saw her surgeon, which took six months.

After the visit to the surgeon she was offered counselling, support and all the resources she needed. However as she explained that for that six months wait to see the surgeon and she felt alone and with no support except for one friend who had gone through the process.

So after the surgery she had decided to take the safari with her daughter, because she was heading back to more treatment and she also said that they thought she might have bladder cancer or cancer of the kidneys. The bottom line was that her cancer was spreading. 

She could have been sad or depressed but she was not she was looking forward to saying yes to life, she was sure that she would beat the cancer and was looking forward to seeing her daughter graduate from high school next year and taking her on another trip. 

She did not see herself as brave, she was doing what  she needed to do for herself; she was afraid but she was doing what she had to do without complaint and without pointing fingers or blaming others, she is brave.

So what are you doing for yourself to say yes to life?

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Women Confronting Retirement

Women Confronting Retirement  is an interesting read and one that should be read by those thinking of or planning to retire. The book showcases the voices of thirty-eight women from a wide range of professions, ages, and life situations as they confront the need to redefine who they are when they leave the workplace behind them. The women of the Baby Boom generation were the first to enter the professional world in large numbers, and the first to encounter the hazards of retirement. 

The contributors urge us to reach for new approaches to this major stage of life, to find new self-images, to balance meaningful work and creative play, and to work for the new public policies that support enhanced opportunities for retirement. Many of these women were involved in the key activist movements of the sixties and seventies, and their work often has been an extension of their social commitment. Defining themselves through their careers, they have challenged traditional models at every stage of their lives and are now being challenged by their own negative stereotypes about retirement. 

The stories in this book compellingly chronicle the fears and hopes of women who have only begun to think about retirement, those who are in the process of retiring, some who have been retired for many years, and a few who have decided that retirement is not for them. They address issues such as identity, aging, creativity, family, and community. Unlike traditional "how-to" books,  Women Confronting Retirement makes clear how individual the choices are, how there are no right and wrong answers to the many questions this uncharted stage of life poses for women of the Baby Boom generation, and those who follow

Monday, March 23, 2015

Biggest regrets?

We are always getting ready to live but never living.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Australian palliative care nurse, Bronnie Ware, put together a list of the most common regrets people approaching death expressed, it went viral. But surprisingly, not because her article was so incredibly profound.

Quite the opposite really, as it was the simplicity that struck a chord with most people. What the article stated was that it’s the small things in life that matter; but often the things our pride, ego or desire to please others gets in the way of.

So after reading it and being reminded of what really counts, I wanted to share her findings with you too…

1. “I wished I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
Sometimes the easier path to take is to breeze through life, as it takes serious soul searching to work out what’s going to make you happy. Not to mention the courage to pursue it – especially if it means disappointing your family, partner or society’s expectation of you.

But it’s your life. Only you confront the reflection in the mirror each morning – so it’s worth making sure you’re happy with what you see.

(And just a reminder, if you’re not, it’s never too late to make a positive change.)

2. “I wish I did not work so hard.”
Life regrets by those approaching death

This one is especially true if you have a family.

Being a provider for someone else is a big responsibility. Wanting to have a nice house, a car, medical insurance and the option to send your kids to a good school are perfectly understandable goals.

But there needs to be a balance in this equation.

If you need to work 80 hours a week only to slump in a heap on the couch on your only day off – the fancy new car isn’t going to mean anything to your attention-starved kids.

Or if you don’t have a family, continuously working to the grind and never making time to pursue some of your other dreams – such as travel, adventure sports or falling in love – is going to leave you with a heavy heart at the end of it all.

Work isn't everything. So don’t let it be the only thing that defines who you are.

3. “I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.”
Why would you deny yourself of such a powerful expression?

As Buddha said:

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of harming another; you end up getting burned.”

So by holding onto anger and resentment, or not letting more heartfelt statements such as “I forgive you” leave your lips – you’re only harming yourself. Not to mention messing up your inner peace… as it’s hard to be happy when you’re enshrouded by negativity!

Don’t miss a chance to let those you care about know how you feel – as you never know when that chance may be taken away from you.

4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
For most of us, over a lifetime, the number of sincere friendships that have had a significant impact on our lives probably won’t equate to double digits.

You know the kind I mean. The type who become like family. The ones who are always a steady rock during life’s ups and downs  – and who aren’t afraid to confront you when you’re acting out of line!

Make an effort to stay in touch with these friends.

Don’t let petty differences or life get in the way of the people who have valued you the most.

Life regrets by those approaching death

5) “I wish I had let myself be happier.”
I think on a whole, society gets happiness wrong.

It’s not the result of having waited for the right job, partner or a fat bank account to materialize.

It’s a choice. And it’s a conscious one you have to make every day. Are you going to choose to be happy, or are you going to let your happiness be washed away by the events of the day?

There are always going to be reasons to be annoyed, disappointed or angry about something.

But that’s life.

Once you realize this, and decide to choose happiness, you’ll notice it improves tenfold.

Pretty powerful!

Do people live up to your standards?

The only person who should ever have to live by your standards is you.

Let everyone else off the hook. Besides, it's doubtful they've lived as much, dreamed as big, or will ever have your savoir faire

Thought to ponder


Appreciating what you have little of is easy. Appreciating what you have lots and lots of...

takes a spiritual master. 

And you have lots so appreciate it!